Affection...

Into the afternoon, the weather turned ghastly.
If not for the pelting of the rain against our heavily tinted office window, we would not have known that sunny Monday morning decided to change its appearance come afternoon, conveniently at the time to fetch Alli from school.

...the Twister movie never fail to come into mind each time I come across mother earth's preview of her powerful strength before unleashing her wrath...

When I reached the school, Alli came running to me, a bit wet...ndak sah kalau ndak basah time hujan...I decided to treat him to lunch at the canteen...he ordered mi basah ayam and myself nasi goreng kampung...

...I guessed he must be very hungry coz he ate in silence and concentrated on his food...very rare this tabiat...

While waiting for him to finish his lunch, I recalled our recent lunch at a Malay stall located inside a chinese restaurant across the road from All Saint's School. I had rojak daging minus the veges...Adek and Alli both decided to have soto ayam. After I finished my rojak, I started feeding Alli the noodles...

Adek : Eh...budak tahun 2 masih kena suap ka mum...
Self : Affectionate ba ni...mum and dad selalu buat ba...mum pun suap dad...
Adek : In public?
Self : Yes...
Adek : (silent)

Then I recalled another incident at Alli's school...
He would normally kissed my hand before we parted and at one time when I wanted to hug him, he became stiff. I noticed that his eyes starting to roam about looking for the other kids. I guessed he was embarrassed if one of his friends caught him while we hugged. I quickly gave him a brief hug. During the drive home that day...

Self : You malu ka tadi masa mum mau hug you...
Alli : (silent)
Self : You afraid your friend laugh at you ka...
Alli : Ya...
Self : It's OK...kalau dorang ketawa sama you...you cakap my mum loves me very much and I love my mum very much...

We never broached that subject again afterwards and I guessed no one laughed at him or teased him as up until today our routine remain...
...kissed mum's hand...
...a quick peck on the mouth, forehead, cheek...
...a hug...
...sometimes in the corridor, sometimes in the classroom...he just could not seem to be bothered with his friends...
...sometimes we repeat the aksi for the 2nd time
OK juga la...but sometimes dia lebey-lebey...snuggle2 his face on my chest like he used to do at home...manja betul budak ni...

Last night as I was browsing through old photos...I remembered something funny when I came upon a particular photo during the family trip to the Crocker Range...

We left the children behind to set up the tent before proceeding further uphill for bird photography...
Upon our return to the resting hut, we overheard this conversation coming from inside the tent...

One sister : Tepi! Tepi!
Other sister : Eh jauh sikit la...
Self : Kenapa juga tu...jangan la gaduh...
Kakak : Alli ni bah...mau dekat-dekat saja...
Self : Biar la bah dia...dia suka snuggle2 ba tu..kan dia biasa buat gitu sama mum...
Kakak : Ya tau...tapi mum...dia ni...kakak ndak suka...dia macam...
Self : Macam apa...
Kakak : Meraba ba mum...

All of us burst out laughing out loud after that...we just could not help ourselves...

Self : Tidur dekat kakak saja...jangan pegang2 dia...
Alli : Sejuk ba mum...
Self : Pakai blanket...nanti kakak pukul you, mummy ndak tau tu ah...


Affection...how does one describe an affectionate gesture...
...a subjective matter...
...a matter of one's opinion...

Without going overboard...
I am not afraid to hold hands while walking with hubby.
I am not afraid to give him a hug everytime we meet at the airport.
I am not afraid to give him a quick peck on the cheek nor the mouth when we parted.
Mengada-ngada, some people would perceive it...so be it...
Menunjuk-nunjuk, some people would interprete it...so be it...

For me...
...a way of showing to hubby and the kids...
...a means of demonstrating to hubby and the kids...
...that I love them...
...that I cherish them...
...no words needed...
...no vocal required...

My affection...
...my version
...my way...