In advance...

It was still a long way to go. But it does not matter. That's how we normally operate. Once we have made up our mind, we would jumped into action.

Last year Adek got hers a little bit later than schedule. After deliberating and lots of searching, we finally got her...

...we got a new desktop for Adek...a conditional gift...she has to share it with Kakak and Alli...

This time round, we have no problem in deciding. As if on parallel wavelength, we came to a unanimous decision and got Kakak this way way in advance...

...an early birthday gift for Kakak...we got this lappy the day before our camp-out at the Crocker Range during the last school holidays...Kakak's birthday is on 28 July...as she will be sitting for her PMR this year, we hoped she would use her lappy wisely...yes, what you see on the screen now will not definitely come out in the PMR exam...stress buster kunu...jangan lebih2 nak...

They used to share the desktop to play the trickster game online. Now they are doing this...

...now they are fighting each other in the same room...they would also sometimes joined forces trying to beat the other group of online gamers...

My dear daughters...

Always keep in mind what mum has said...

That tiny almost invisible line that I talked about...

Make sure you look where you're going...

Be careful not to tread over it...

Does that sound like a threat dear?

No, no, no...

Just call it mum's friendly reminder...

Of late...

Something is just not right. Not right at all.

It all started when we moved in to the new office. Everything from the office right up to its small community just could not seem to live harmoniusly as it used to be.

Are we at fault? Are they at fault? Are the surrounding at fault? Whose the bloody fault it is, is one thing that kept us in the dark of this baffling predicament we are in.

Come on, don't you think that it is just a bit weird. So many people are looking for jobs and here you are, in your new million dollar office, looking desperately for a way out. A way out permanently!!! I myself called that stupidity in its best ever form and yet I allowed my still functioning if not clouded mind to give it a mighty deliberation. You become so engrossed in the gloominess of it so much so that you could no longer find what really makes you tick. You became trapped in the fogginess. You became trapped in the humdrum. Your life become a monotonous journey to everywhere but leads to nowhere.

...my smudgy rainy brain...

At this point of time, I know that I've got to stop this from spreading its wings and consumed me alive. If I don't, I might just as well dive into that deep pitiful pitch of self-destruction.

In order to regain control of the straying mind, we would try to humour ourselves as best as we can and try to find some solace in whatever form we can. We found one during our last visit to one of the shop at 1Borneo recently...

...my kitty sits proudly on my CPU...

...this kitty belongs to Anies (you can see her at the background busy making money for the Company)...

...Momoi's kitty likes to sit cosily next to my peacock feathers...

Tomorrow is another day...
Tomorrow is yet a new beginning...
Tomorrow would one day bring us the news that we crave for...

Playing around...

I was not very keen at all when hubby told me that I had to do it.

Hubby : You have to...

Self : Eh, malas oh...mesti kah...yang ori tu pun cantik juga...

Hubby : Mesti...kalo this type mesti mau edit...

Self : Ehhhh, mana I pernah buat ni...

Hubby : Belajar...

Self : Ehhhhhh, senang lagi kalo post terus...

Hubby : Up to you la...

Self : Ehhhhhhh......

So, grudgingly I did it. Not my forte actually. That is hubby's department. He's very good at it.

...after minor editing...

...the original shot...

...morning dew after editing...

...the original shot of the morning dew...

Playing around now...

Are we?

I could not help wondering. Have we been neglecting the kids? I mean, of late we have been leaving them behind to do their own stuff while mum and dad went about with their photography session.

We did, however, bring them to a night camp-out at the Crocker Range during the last school holiday. It was a 2-in-1 trip, photography for mum and dad and holiday activity for them. That's a first actually.

Last Saturday, I was supposed to bring Alli to Aie's (Momoi's daughter) 3rd birthday. Everything went smoothly as planned until hubby called me on Thursday night of his intention to return during the weekend. I was flabbergasted. Hubby told me that the Sandakan gang will be coming down and they would like to take this rare opportunity to discuss on an important project. Hubby told me that he would sleep on it first and will decide the next morning. Afterall he just returned from a 10-day holiday with us.

As it turned out, I did miss going to the birthday party (all the photos are courtesy of Azmi A. M., Anies' husband)...

...Aie's party was held at A's Cottage, Anies' house at Kg Navahiu, Putatan...it was such a beautifullll setup concoted by Anies...her large yard and children's toys would ensure that the kids would have a big space to play around and most importantly refrain them from making a mess inside the house...good idea or what...now Anies' business woman mind is going a little bit further...she's thinking of renting out the toys and tent...never know ma...she would be posting more photos at her blog and feel free to contact her if you're interested in renting...

...this is Boy the Clown...Momoi rented him out for an hour to entertain the children with his ballon making performance...eat your heart out children...kami dulu kicik-kicik manada ni...I sempat texted Anies to make sure that Alli did get to have his photo with Boy the Clown...

...sorry Alli...wish mum was there to keep you company...but mum is sure that you did have a good time there so much so that you did not want to go home...cheeky boy...mum's cheeky son...

...my saviour...Alli with his Uncle Farid...thank you la Farid...Farid is my colleague who has patiently fetched Alli from home and sent him back...a nice young man...eh macam promote pula...

On Sunday afternoon, Kak Long called me...

Kak Long : What time are you going home?

Self : Around 2pm baru depart...why?

Kak Long : For goodness' sake, it's Father's Day!

Self : I know...

Are we being selfish?

Are we bad parents?

My dear children...
No matter where mum and dad are...
You guys are first and foremost in our heart...

In dire needs...

During our last trip to the Crocker Range, I have taken a few close-up shots, the closest my Canon EOS400D, EFS55-250mm, f/4-5.6 IS lens permits me to shoot.

I am in desperate need...
I am in urgent want...
...of a macro lens...

The Colony....

It was the 1st day of the Harvest Festival Holiday...

We arrived very early in the morning at the Crocker Range. Everybody was very excited. I was excited too but not as excited as the rest of the group. I guessed everyone had their own wishlist to check off. I on the other hand would be grateful for any successful shots of any species of the birds. At the rate I'm going, I can't be a chooser.

...a chirpy exciting bunch of people...bird lover to the core...

Of late I would like to roam on my own instead of staying in the group. I would walk slowly behind the group. That would worry hubby at times. That would sometime made hubby lagged behind the group just to make sure I am within sight. I would signal to him to go ahead as I would not want him to miss any opportunity just to sort of babysit me.



Recently I told hubby that I have made a decision. I have made a compromise with myself. I would not stressed myself out if I failed to get any good shots of the birds. So, in order to balance any future frustrations, I would take any photos of things that took my fancy. At least I would not go home empty handed.



So when hubby pointed something beside the road, my limited eyesight made it difficult for me to see what it was. Chai said something which I could not hear. Hubby continued pointing at the spot. Only when I moved closer I knew what it was.

For someone who was born and raise at bandar, I would have missed it easily.

...I was happy to be able to witness this...

...a closer view...

...trying from another angle...

...the morning dew were caught on the spiders' webs...only in this condition would you know their existence...when we walked back they are no longer visible to the naked eyes...but they are there...trust me...they're all over...

...I found this solitary web further up the road side...looked like a water drop was caught within the web..what caught my attention is the form-like tadpole...the occupant was no where in sight...

Nature is full of such undefine beauty...
All you have to do is take the time...
All you have to do is look a little bit closer...

We forgive you...

Surprisingly hubby was very calm. I myself was surprised. I was calm. We managed to abstain from the norm. The sumpah seranah and the maki hamun was not heard nor was it uttered last night. The only thing hubby said to me was he was marah betul.

I guessed nothing was amissed at first to hubby as the place did not give any sign of being ransacked. So when hubby told me that his rice cooker was gone, I was preparing for the worst. Somehow, after careful inspection, he told me that the other thing missing is the smaller changes he kept, a habit of his. He would always put away all the smaller changes from his pocket at one place. He gave a rough guessing at RM70++.

That were the things this somewhat desperate person took without his permission. He did not bother with the shoes. He did not bother with the watches. He did not bother with all the other electrical appliances. Only the rice cooker and the loose changes.

When I told Kakak Long about the incident this morning, she was also angry. When I told her only two things were missing, I was also surprised at her reaction. Syukur juga kan mum, is what she said.

We had a talk this morning, hubby and myself. We decided to forgive that desperate person. For reason that is known only to that person, he had to do a disgraceful unthinkable act. We hope he would find it in his heart to find the correct path in this life and let this one shameful act be his last.

Dear God...

We bersyukur for what you have bestowed us...
We bersyukur for all the wonderful things that you will bestow us...

Sunset from the Crocker Range

It was 1st June and we were on our way home when hubby and Alphon pointed it out to me. They were very ecstatic about it. I saw it too. I looked at it. I did nothing but just looked at it. Looking, staring, looking and staring some more. Telling myself that it was a definite beauty. But still I did nothing. Not until hubby's voice broke my mentonong moment. Hubby asked me if I wanted to snap the sunset. I replied, boleh juga and quickly took the camera out from its casing.


It was very difficult to position the camera on a moving vehicle. Top that with the rain residue on the window, the electric cable, houses and tall trees, you'll get a bad recipe for photography.


Then Alphon found a spot to park the car and I quickly disembark to get a few quick snaps...

Let me repeat myself.
I am not.
I never was.
The sunset type of person.
Now I am beginning to doubt myself...

A week long hiatus...

Tuesday, 3rd June...

The boss was in his room to get a breather after the adjournment of the board meeting.

Self : So, macam, bila mau tanya. Looks like he's about to leave soon.
Anies : Ok. Let me tell him the good news first. Kasi gembira sikit.
Self : Ok.

Anies had made reservation at one of the resort in Tuaran for a night stay on 4th June and I had confirmed with hubby on our Crocker Range trip. The crazy thing is we have made all the arrangements without any leave applied. Talked about berani mati punya keraja.

Anies signalled me and I immediately joined her...

Anies : Bos, perkara ketiga...
Self : Kami mau ambil cuti...(on cue)
Bos : Bila (getting something from his drawer)
Self : Besok...
Bos : Huh!
Self : This is the last week of the school holiday ba...(reminding him)
Bos : (pausing, pondering, pausing, pondering)...Ok la...
Anies : Thank you bos...
Self : Thank you bos (echoing Anies)

Self and Anies : Nasib, nasib...(when the coast is clear)

Yup, yup, yup...that's what it was then. A week long of happenings. A week long of the comings and the goings. The do or die preparation for the board meeting at our new RM1 million office and the just concluded school holiday.

I have to admit that I am still not into the groove as yet. Something is left somewhere behind. Just need to look for it a little bit deeper and to coerce it to run again.

Dear Mr Brain, please be informed that in a few hours the 2 weeks school holiday will officially end and you are required to make your appearance urgently in order to attend to some pressing issues come Monday morning, Your pleading host...

After a few days of this...can you honestly blame me...

...na na na na nana na...don't worry...be happy...

Ready or not...

The countdown to hard reality commences in...


...3...


...2...


...1...