Life is indeed strange…
When you’re not looking…when you’re not searching…
There he was…out of nowhere…holding out his hand to you…
Come with me…he gestured to you…
Follow me…he seemed to say…
Is it a figment of your imagination?
Is your mind playing tricks on you?
You become confused…you hesitated…
Is he mad, you asked yourself…
You looked hard at yourself…
You looked at him…
You looked at yourself again…
Yes, that is what he is…he is mad you said to yourself…
Is he playing a prank on you, you can’t help asking yourself again…
You are not sure…you are not certain…
One thing you are sure of…
You are never going to let your guard down…
You are never going to let yourself down…
That’s what you think…that’s what you told yourself
Yet you took his hand…yet you let him lead you away…
Still uncertain…still unsure…
Like a chapter from your favourite Mills and Boon…
Like a beautiful dream embracing your silent nightly slumber…
A tall, dark, handsome man…
A knight in shining amour…
Dashing into your life…
Turning your life topsy turvy…
In your vulnerability…you tried to shoo him away…
In your vulnerability…you hurled hurtful words just so he will walk away…
…go away now, when you still have the chance…
…go away now, before it’s too late…
But that’s the strangest thing…
He wouldn’t budge no matter what…he swallowed all the bitter words…
He braved the storms ahead…he smiled at you still holding his hand out…
For he knew something which you did not know…
For he believed something which you did not believe…
He believes that there is you and him…
He believes in us…
Throwing all cautions into the wind…
Taking the whirlwind romance in your stride…
You took his hand…you hold it tightly…
You no longer want to let go…you no longer want him to let go…
You open up your heart…you let him come into your heart…
Be gentle with my heart…you implore silently…
Be kind with my heart…you plead quietly…
For I give you my heart wholeheartedly…
For I offer you my life commitment…
Babe…
Thank you for the music…
Luv,
your valentine
Friday, February 13, 2009
The greatest gift...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Awakening...
I heard...yet I just keep on listening...
I did not pretend I did not see it...
I did not pretend I did not hear it...
That's just it...
I just let it happened...
Again...
...and again...
It was the 29th of December 2008...
Something happened that day...
Something that had happened before...
Something that finally resulted in a drastic decision...
Something that made my nerve snapped harder than before...
The catalyst for the things that I should have done before...
A long long time ago...
So I've decided...that's it...
So I've decided...this is it...
I've decided I do not want to be that person again...
I've decided I do not want to be in that position again...
...last year I was this......slow and steady...
...miss goody two shoes...
...this year I am this......colourful as colourful can be...
...roaring and ready to rock and roll...
I have to bear in mind tho' that things won't go my way as fast as I wish...
I have to bear in mind tho' that things won't be the way I want it to be right away...
I guessed what has been said all this while is true...
It is a virtue indeed...
...that is what it is ...
All I need to do...
All I have to do now...
...is just be patient...
Saturday, January 3, 2009
A new dawn...
At the blink of the eye...
It was yesterday...
At the blink of the eye...
It was no longer there...
At the blink of the eye...
It was gone forever...
Never to come back...
Never to be seen again...
Never to be heard again...
...time...
indeed...
...wait for no man...
The new dawn of a new era some would perceive it...
The new dawn of a new chapter some would say it...
The new dawn of a new beginning some would see it...
For me...
...a whole lot of new found determinations...
...a whole lot of new found strengths...
...the ones that I thought I do not possess...
...the ones that I thought was insignificant...
...shining through...
I am now ready...
...to face life's darkeness...
I am now ready...
...to face life's challenges...
I am now ready...
...to face life's offerings...
Adieu 2008...
...thank you for the memories...
Greetings 2009...
...thank you for your new promises...
...I am ready...
...come what may...
Friday, December 12, 2008
All our love...
The cough syrup from his last visit did not do the trick...
Instead of subsiding, Alli's cough was getting non-stop...
He pestered me to bring him to see the doctor...an abnormality on his part...a signal that he could not longer withstand the pain...
Upon reaching the clinic, I then decided to also see the doctor...seemed to experience breathing discomfort for the last few days...short interval of breathing time...
Dr : Kamu pernah asma kan?
Self : Kalau time batuk kuat or selesma...
Dr : Sekarang kamu asma ni...I give you this ubat...kuat sikit...jantung akan laju sikit bergerak...jangan takut...
Self : Ok...
Alli : Can you make it quick please...(he was already sitting down next to the Dr's table)
Dr : Why you want to make it quick (still scribbling down my medication)...
Alli : I'm freezing (the aircond was behind him)...
Dr : Ok la...I'll be quick...
I could not help looking at my watch...
It was past 11.45pm...
Waiting for the medication was like waiting forever...
It was getting on my nerve...
I need to go home fast...
I need to get the children ready...
Ready before the clock strikes 12.00am...
Ready for this...
...we gathered together and sang......happy birthday to you...
...happy birthday to you...
...happy birthday to you daddy...
...happy birthday to you...
...thank you Skype...
It was fun...
Fun because we were shoving each other so that hubby could see us...
Fun when I recalled Adek saying..."jaga ah kalau siapa suara sumbang"...
Fun when we sang out loud to hubby...
But it was also sad at the same time...
Sad because we could not give hubby the customary hugs and kisses...
Sad because he is all alone there...
Sad because we do not have him here with us...
Babe...
...all my love...
...all our love...
...my knight in shining amour...
...our pillar of strength...
Luv u...
p.s. Nikon D300 or the rumoured Nikon D400 c/w video...hmmmm... ;)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Long break...
After lunch...
...nasib baik kena approve...
Our proposed itinerary for Sandakan trip...
Period : 20 to 23 Dec 2009
Accommodation : Alphon's house
20 Dec : Fly to Sandakan on early morning flight...might take breakfast before proceeding to RDC...(this time round must ensure ample titbits to alas perut, lesson learned from last trip...the guys can do without lunch when it comes to birding...)
21 Dec : ...berkampung di RDC...
22 Dec : Ditto...
23 Dec : Fly back to KK on early morning flight...(in time to get all those christmas presents for the kids, nieces and nephew...I am pretty late getting those this year...if not for Christmas we might be staying longer...takut juga nanti kena cakap anak derhaka)...
Hopefully...
...everything goes well as planned...
Hopefully...
...Chai & CC can make this trip...(this trip will be joined by Ron and Hazel, a first to RDC for her)
Hopefully...
...I could muster stronger self-discipline when photographing the birds...
Hopefully...
...this irritating back ache will stop tormenting me and make a speedy departure...
hope above hope...
Above all...
...time together with hubby...
...that's all that matters...
...above all...
Friday, December 5, 2008
No more la mum...
They would shove everything that cannot fit into their jeans pocket into my handbag...when I offered them to use one of my handbags...
Adek : Eh mum...macam orang tua...
Hubby saw me inspecting it while browsing at Sport Mart...
Hubby : Banyak suda beg di rumah...
So, when I showed it to the girls during our weekend outing, the weekend when hubby did not come down to KK...
Self : Ok ka ni...
Kakak : Yup...tapi mau buat apa...
Self : For you to bawa jalan2 la...selalu mau dump everything dalam handbag mummy...
Kakak : Tiada color hitam ka...
Self : Tiada...
...bought this so dorang ndak jalan limbai2...
Hubby noticed kakak using it...
Hubby : Beg baru ka...
Kakak : Ya, mummy kasi beli...
Hubby only noticed these when waiting for our food at Peppermint...
...hers and hers...
Hubby : Ai...masing2 pula kamu ni...
Kakak & Adek : (grinning)
Self : Ndak mau sharing suda...
Last weekend...
Alli : Alli mau beg macam kakak...
...no comment...
It just won't go away...
I was bending down to get cold water from the water dispenser when I felt a sort of snapping sensation at the lower part of my right backside.
Oops...I thought...
Oopssssss...I thought...when I could not stand upright...
It took a while for me to properly stand...thought nothing of it...thought it will go away in a short while...
...but was I really wrong about it...far beyond...it made itself present as the minutes go by...as stubborn as I am, I did not pay hoot to it despite the "pulling" pain I felt whenever I lifted myself up from my chair...
...so just went ahead with lunch...well, it is not always you twisted somebody's arms in our office and got the result you wanted...you just need to synchronize the time, day and mood perfectly...we went ahead and ordered a gondo'ot feast and waited for the rest of the guys to join us at Gayang after Friday prayer...
...despite the yummylicious food, I felt most uncomfortable during lunch...I started to break pespiration on my forehead...at first I thought because of a spicy dish...up till the moment I felt cold sensation on my forehead...I knew then something was terribly wrong...
...Momoi suggested that we dropped Anies and Sai at the office after lunch before sending me to clinic...I refused the offer tho...I wanted to do things one shot...drove myself to the clinic and went straight home afterwards...
...While at the office, I had a change of heart...the backpain is so unbearable by this time...I told the girls that I will just go home and will visit the doctor in the evening...I so desperately need to just lie down...
...driving was an effort itself especially when making even the slightest of turning...lucky it's an auto...I was passing the Masjid Bandaraya when I started to feel a cramp on my right thigh...I was really scared by then...quickly changed lanes and headed to our panel clinic at Likas...it was not my regular but that will do at that time...
...I was given a jab and some medications...
...that was last Friday...
...today is Friday...
...instead of subsiding it came in full force last night...the pain was so intense that putting on one undies is an effort that requires some ingenuity just so one does not experience that unforgiving pain...the recovery is not meant to be sooner that one thought...
...pray tell me, how on earth one could have a swift recovery when one had to mount this staircase a few times in a day...bijak betul orang yang pilih tingkat paling atas untuk ofis siorang...
...smsed the girls that I will be in late...just got to get another jab...this time round I went to my regular physician...
...need to get better by tomorrow...
...tomorrow's affair is very important...
...a visit to 1Borneo is top on the itinerary...
...the smashing christmast decos I saw when blog hopping...
...for the kids' enjoyment of course...
...for mum and dad...
...what else...
...the KK Bird Fair exhibit...
of course...
